Trust in a long distance relationship.

It is no secret that the gift of trust is a precious one, it should be treasured and given back, but of course, sometimes just being the first to give it, is hard. Within a distance relationship it gets trickier because of the obvious distance of kilometers between you and your significant other.

Depending on the circumstances of how you met in the beginning —either online or in person— this can play a bigger role in your worries. It is normal to want to be careful and to still leave a bit of doubt of how sincere someone is towards you, it is actually even healthy to have that in the beginning of the relationship, but I do believe that all these things should be talked out in a open and honest way throughout the first year or two of dating.

My sweetheart.

The first few months when I started dating Iliyan, we did not know each other in person (we fall under the “we met online” category), we had been friends for over two years but we had never gotten to meet in person. We did decide to truly make it official once we meet in person, which happened four months later, but until then, we bonded even more and talked everyday like silly lovebirds. During this period I did wonder a few times whether he truly loved me as he claimed to do, I mean, I know plenty of people who say “I love you” under the basis of the passionate attraction they feel, one that many times is not actually love, I myself did not respond him with that phrase until I was sure that what I was feeling was indeed love.

Yet, I always trusted Iliyan, it comes from our close friendship even from before engaging in a relationship, but of course I did have small doubts. The difference with me was how I acted upon these worries: I told him about it. Once we did, it would be resolved, if not completely, to the point that time took care of the rest, time and trust also go hand in hand. Some things words can not completely resolve, but time can, the way your partner will act in certain situations that arise within your lives will clear up your doubts.

My fiancé, Iliyan, showed me everyday that he loved me, I could see it when he wrote to me in the morning before doing anything else, when he sent me sweet drawings of a couple hugging or doing something together to brighten up my day, or when he goes “running” to call me no matter what he is doing because I am sad or crying. These things count and they show what words can not really convey, because he could just say “I love you” everyday but then never act upon it, how could one trust someone that only says empty words? “Yes dear, we will watch that film tomorrow.” Completely forgets about it. “Yes, I will call you tonight.” Does not call. “Ah, I understand, we will talk about it later.” But in the end he or she still does whatever they want and avoids discussing it. Breaking promises for me is a big “no-no”, when you say you will do something, you should do it, that also strengthens trust.

20th of August, 2015 — The week we spent in Sozopol after we met for the first time in person.

It is quite a leap to open up, to show them your quirky sides, to tell them about your past, your family and personal passions, but that is also part of trust, you trust they will appreciate them, the same way you do with theirs.

Some people might be uneasy because of infidelity, once again, you have to trust them if you have agreed to be exclusive (since the majority chooses that). When you do not give trust to your partner, you are hurting yourself and them, which in some cases gets to the point of having to part ways. In conclusion, if they have given you only reasons to trust them, do so.

All that I tell you is applied under the basis that you now know each other quite a bit, that you have known the other person for over half a year and have talked a decent amount to know who they are. Because trust is a precious gift, you do not just give it to anybody, it is like respect, you earn it with time and your actions.

What is imperative is to communicate always, be honest and open and expect the same in return. That is how any relationship works out in the long run.


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