Visiting time in a long distance relationship.

Most long distance couples set up dates in which they will visit each other, whether the one traveling is you or your partner does not matter that much as long as you can hug and see each other in person. These visits give you a shot of positive energy and strength to face the times of being apart.

If you are in a long distance relationship, definitely plan these visits, just hoping that one day you will see each other and not take action to make these visits come true, may produce unnecessary tensions and pain in the relationship, because when you love someone, your heart just wants to be with that person, our heart is a bit like a three year old, it wants something and it does not attend to situations and time, it just wants it when that desire comes to exist in them. So, carefully discuss when either of you could make the financial and time effort to come and see the other.

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A cute street we saw a week ago in Utrecht, Holland.

Now, once you do see each other, what happens?

Loads, and probably more if the time would allow it. Depending on the age you are and the money and time you have at your disposal, these visits can range from one week to a month, rarely more than that (but still possible). When Iliyan would come to see me I could not wait to show him so many of my day to day things, like my conservatoire, or that ice cream shop around the corner that I so much like; or do something special with him, like making my favorite cake for him, going to that park near my house, watching that film I had not see myself so I could watch it with him in person, and so on and so forth. In many cases, you are still left with things you would like to do with them once they go back to their country.

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That trip to Utrecht was completely unplanned, I went there on a whim to surprise Iliyan and spend time with a close friend of mine. Here we are eating at my dear friend’s house.

1. Make a small list.

Making a brief list with activities you would like to do with your significant other can help prioritizing things, sometimes it is not only that we lack time to do something that prevents us from doing it, but the fact that we had no clear ideas present in our minds once they were with us, it is no wonder that one or two activities that we so much wanted to do got neglected because of forgetfulness or because we thought of it at the end of the visit and it was not possible to do it anymore, some things also require planning ahead.

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Iliyan and I when we were in Stara Zagora, at his parents’ home back in 2016, I had a lot of fun.

2. Allow some spontaneity.

Yes, I am aware that this sounds as if I am contradicting myself, but believe me, I am not. It is also easy to fall into the trap of “I have planned each day of our visit to the utmost perfection of romanticism until you go back to your country”, which is not bad, but some of the days might feel like a task instead of being a joyful moment between the two of you. Leave some days to the whim of adventurousness, you never know what will happen, that already is exciting in itself.

3. Cuddle as much as you can.

With this I mean to take advantage of what we, in a long distance relationship, do not have: physical touch. A simple hug can resolve many things, the crave for warmth, to feel home, or the act that melts away any bump or argument you might have had. It is something that most people take for granted, but for us fellow “hours apart couples”, it is a precious gift.

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Iliyan cooking his delicious risotto for my whole family in Bucharest; everyone was delighted and ate a lot.

Of course visits have even more than the points I mentioned, you get to meet their families and they yours, to discuss things in person while interrupting each other with kisses, and go on dates you could not have if you were talking through Skype or any other similar device. My ultimate advice is to just enjoy the time you have, there will definitely be more visits, but you do not know how soon, so hug them tight and love the heck out of each other!

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