Responsibilities that come with independence and 3 tips to learn how to tackle them.

Life constantly changes, what you “have” to do also changes… exponentially. I am mostly talking about the responsibilities that come little by little through life, obviously as a young child your parents would take care of almost everything, they would slowly let you do things on your own; put your clothes on, tidy your stuff, help out in the kitchen, wash yourself after going to the bathroom, etc. But all of these are quite natural and in most cases gradual. When reaching adulthood, one tries to tackle things on their own, assuming the responsibilities that it comes with it (this can come earlier or later in life depending on the person).

My parents helped me a lot —still do— in my life, they gave me a wonderful childhood mostly free of worries. I have been studying abroad for the past two years and have been in a steady and loving relationship for the same amount of time. I think that Iliyan is the reason that this next step in my life is being also rather natural, a bit scary, but natural.

I have been faced with the responsibilities of making my bank account, taking care of my finances, look out if there are any taxes that I have to pay, apply for an appointment to the municipality of the city to state that I am living at x address in the Netherlands, organize my own concert from zero, looking for a summer job so I can partly support myself… and so on. My parents still help me financially with my studies, which takes quite a load off my shoulders for the moment, but Iliyan started to look for a job, because he already took that step, the one that enables him to support himself completely on his own.

When I was a child, I was scared of that step, because, what if I fail? Who will catch me? My parents will not always be there and even if they were, they are not supposed to do that. I guess it is a bit like when you first start jumping into the pool with your head first, like the professional swimmers do. You keep staring at the water trying to actually stop overthinking and just do it, I feel just like that, only it takes longer.

Funnily enough, everything I was worried about is getting done, by me. Yes, sometimes it is a headache and I wish it would be faster, but I actually feel I am doing good, I am a bit scared, but I put that aside and go decided to face it, when I do that, I get it done.

1. Ask.

Asking what I was not sure about is what has made all these new and difficult tasks, easy. You get to know the steps to do something —for example, paying your taxes— and also be sure that you are doing it right. You can both research it on internet or ask someone, it makes things faster as well.

2. Organize yourself.

I know when you are younger one does not really use much an agenda, there is not much of a need, you learn things by heart, but when you have to send important e-mails, go to that special class or have an appointment to see a new apartment, you just need to organize yourself and possibly use an agenda (paper or an app) to get everything done.

3. Pretend.

Pretend you are actually super sure in yourself, that you have done this before and know that everything will be fine, because, in most cases, it will.

Lastly, I can only thank Iliyan, my fiancé, for giving me the courage to face everything with a smile, because with him by my side, I know there is light all the way through.

Princess and prince fluff flying through life.

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