For many, being in a long distance relationship is out of the question, it would not work for them, because some problems are inherently to this particular way of having a relationship. However, there are problems, or as I call them, bumps that all relationships have.
Iliyan and I knew we were in love with each other, quite seriously. It got confirmed the first time we met and our love seemed to be growing wonderfully as each day passed.
There was one question that I did have in my mind from time to time. Would we work as well when we would finally be able to live together?
Of course neither Iliyan or I knew if we would, we were quite sure it would because as a couple we had been working with passion on communication as one of the bases of our relationship, and in most cases if you have that, living together will not be that complicated.
The first chance to test this came quite early when he came to see me to Holland after my university started, almost a month in which we would be together everyday!
I had fun all the time, each morning brought something new with him, and sleeping in his arms was just what I needed to face all my struggles at school. I was so relaxed and comfortable with him that most of my natural daily habits had disappeared, we worked well together, there was no doubt in that, but would we if I would stick to my day to day habits? Would we be too different or even argue about simple things?
Months later another chance came. Iliyan was coming for a month to see me and help me out in my exams period. The difference this time was that although I was comfortable as I am always with him, I kept the things I would want to keep when we were together: cleaning properly, having everything organized, eating healthy, etc.
My luck with him has always been his flexibility and our ability to discuss things so we can find a middle ground, and to my delight, this second chance to see how we would work in an environment suited to our habits and the new ones that would be born with us being together, had been a complete success.
I felt so happy, so utterly happy. I was amazed as well at how wonderfully we worked. Building up our own little home was being a magical experience.
Some habits formed themselves without us noticing, for example the making of the bed each morning, Iliyan was always making it, and insisted in doing so, he liked doing it for me, and I always appreciated it (and still do!).
Going to buy groceries had always been fun with him, and doing that also in a —recently discovered by Iliyan— Bio shop was making me really happy, because he shared his interest in cooking healthier and eating аs much as we could afford, organic.
Cleaning was done by both, I wanted to be a bit more precise with the room so I dusted the books and other little things, he helped many times or asked if I wanted help, and in any case, 90% of cleaning the dishes was done by him, he knows very well that I am not super crazy about cleaning them, so he enjoyed doing this for me.
We both love cooking so we swapped places when it came to who is the chef today because indeed, one of us is the one directing the recipe of that day but we almost always cook together, we enjoy doing that, it is a lot of fun to cook with your significant other.
Because I was in my exams period he would take a lot of care that I properly sit down and have my study time, he would be by my side, doing his own thing, relaxing and supporting me with his presence and little attentions now and then. A short kiss, a reassuring hug, some sweet words, a massage… just what I needed to get the stress out and continue studying. I could also relax and do all this because he helped a lot around the house, and pampered me rotten. I got through my exams happy and relaxed thanks to him.
And of course, we went out a lot, discovering new places, since he was the one taking me to school on my bike, I was sitting behind and letting him guide me to school or to new places in the city. We got to find many shops, restaurants and pretty spots by going out on dates. I surprised him one day by going to a small café in which we ate some burgers —he was really craving them— I wanted to make him happy, because I felt happy everyday living my life with him.
Sharing a space with someone, be it your partner, family or friends is always a bit difficult, specially if you have not grown up with that person, both of you will come with your own baggage of habits and ways of doing things and finding a middle ground is not easy for everybody. Communication as always, is key.
Accepting both the wonderful parts and the flawed ones is also essential in the road of living together. Moving in together expecting either of you will change is preposterous, you should however be open to be flexible and work together in finding solutions.
Living with him was like being in those fantasy books with fairies, dragons and unicorns I have loved since I was a baby, I can not begin to describe how it makes me feel, how my heart beats so passionately for this man.
Remembering those days of our married life always makes me happy, because it was a magical experience and because we learned a lot about ourselves, not only individually but also as a couple. We definitely can work together.