Even though this is a blog mainly about my and Adina’s relationship, I would like to talk about the dating scene nowadays.
I am an old-fashioned person when it comes to dating. Basically, I prefer to get to know the person and have some clear feelings for them before starting anything with them, rather than looking for the easiest and fastest way to get into each others pants. And honestly what people today do as dating I wouldn’t consider it even if I was dead drunk and really desperate… The reason why the lines between “casual”, “friends with benefits” and “serious” are so blurry is because people approach it with sex first, sorting feelings later attitude that leads to confusion in everyone, something that I really dislike about modern day dating. So here are my rants on the topic and how to improve dating.
1. Honesty and respect.
In order for a relationship to work being honest and respectful is important, if you can’t respect and trust the other person with the truth, then you really should think of why do you even want to date that person in the first place.
2. Show how much you care.
Contrary to most people’s way of showing how little they feel towards the other person so they chase them… it’s much better to show how much you care for them instead. It won’t only make their day, but their smile will make yours as well.
3. Be clear with what you want.
Being clear since the start is important. If it’s casual sex for few times or friends with benefits you are looking for, then it’s important for both people to be on the same page. Don’t take advantage of the other person’s emotions.
4. Letting go.
Don’t get stuck in relationship just because you don’t want to hurt the other person by breaking up with them. If it’s not working and the time to part ways has come, it’s better to do so. Avoiding it just to “protect” the other person’s feelings would only make it more painful in the end.
5. Go on actual dates.
Partying in the club and getting smashed is so boring and is not the only way you can date. Go billiards or bowling, even a nice movie or a walk, heck even a picnic is better. Just have some fun.
6. Don’t settle for little.
If you are looking for something serious and the other person is not, don’t settle down. I repeat: Don’t settle down with this kind of relationship just for the sake of having a relationship while you find the right person.
7. Drop your high expectations.
Don’t make the others live up to your expectations or you trying to live up to theirs…
8. Get to know each other.
Originally that was the point of dating; you go out to watch a movie, have dinners, get to know each other, what they like, what they don’t , how good both of you work together, and then came the actual relationship. You will be surprised by how important this whole step is and how many headaches will save you from as well as the many friends you will find in this way.
9. Don’t try to fill a gap.
Don’t go looking for a relationship for the sake of having one, or thinking that going in one will make you whole and is gonna fill that gap, because it won’t. Only a fulfilling and genuine connection can do the trick.
10. Be natural.
Nowadays there are certain ways in which you have to date, and if you don’t follow the strict code of dating you would be considered weird. However you should be yourself, be natural. Just do what feels right for you and if the other person doesn’t appreciate you for who you are, you are better off without them.
11. Keep the past in the past.
Don’t let your past experiences get in the way of your future ones. It’s not fair for you or your future partner to bring past problems into the new relationship.
12. Take the sexual part slow.
That said, people today start with that and mostly care only about that…. getting into each others pants, which I think is really sad. It is better to take this part slow. Get to know the person. Be sure about it. Make it be special, starting with sex only complicates things.
To conclude this, I will only say that for me it is about building a connection with a person, showing your true self and hoping they are doing the same as well as liking all your imperfections and perfections… leading to one happy and fulfilling relationship.