The dreadful times of having to leave your beloved: 5 tips on how to ease the pain.

Right now I am writing from the plane that takes me back to my studies, to my new school year, and this same plane takes me away from my beloved, Iliyan.

One of the hardest things in a LDR, is without any doubt, whenever you have to part ways with your partner until the next time either of you can afford the time and the money to come and see them again. True that seeing them in person for the first time in a long time makes your heart race and your body tingle with happiness and pleasure but, you also know, that sooner or later you will have to say goodbye until next time.

Our conversations are always full of heart and sweet words.

Iliyan and I for the moment cannot be together for good, so we try our best to cope with the situation at hand, by being one day apart by car of each other (hence the name of the blog).

I always cry the days or day before traveling and on the day I have to go, and every time, Iliyan tries to be my support by being the strongest of both of us, containing his own sadness, I will forever be grateful for his effort, without it I would probably go crazy.

1. Talk with them on the phone before going or while traveling.

Being able to hear their voice eases your heart’s bleeding, so if you can be there for them and them for you, you will not feel as sad and lost as you would if you were completely alone with your thoughts and heartache.

2. Leave as a surprise for them a little note/letter or small present.

This one works like a charm most of the time, a small surprise for your significant other when they feel down and miss you terribly always makes them smile and forget a bit their pain.

I remember very fondly one time when Iliyan had to go back to Bulgaria after visiting me in Holland for a month, and had left a little note and a present behind without me knowing anything about it, until I got back to my place from saying goodbye to him and having my daily lessons. He had sneakily bought a box of chocolates some days before and left it on my table just before getting out in the morning to go to the train station, together with a small and lovely note. It made me very happy, I had been like a zombie all day, trying not to cry in front of my teachers, so I was really tired and sad, but as soon as I saw the present I cried of joy, it brought a part of him just next to me.

The box of chocolates and the sweet note Iliyan left for me.

3. Have a call when both of you are back at your own homes.

I really recommend having a call or even better, a video call with them just as soon as you both can. This first day of parting and traveling is a real mess for your bodies, mind and heart, however if at the end of the day you can go to bed having had a small conversation with your partner you will be more relaxed and happy than if you had not talked at all. Iliyan and I even go to sleep while on an ongoing call and fall asleep together, as if we were sleeping together in the same bed like we did not so long ago.

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Our night call after we got to our respective homes today.

4. Spoil yourself.

Be kind to yourself, spoil yourself with a nice dinner, a good book or movie, if you can share this moments with your beloved, then even better! If not, still do it. Our bodies have very low energies when we feel down, specially if it is because we miss someone dearly, so they need all the care and fluffy comfortableness that you can give them.

5. Give them attention.

Take care of each other, ask one another if you are fine or what you can do to help the heartache be less hurtful. Seeing that they care also helps the pain go away, talking about future plans or just silly things makes us smile and laugh, enabling us to look forward to the next visit rather than mop around that they are not there anymore.

At the end of the day, Iliyan and I know very well that we will see each other again, so with our love and hope we get through it and continue our journey through life; and that goes for every couple in a long distance relationship. So cheer up fellow comrade!

One of our silly traditions is to take a photo together just before parting, looking at it keeps us strong while traveling and the days after (Holland, November 2015).

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