How open one is, and how much one is himself depends with whom you are and the situation at hand. This is obviously natural and not at all bad, sometimes maybe even necessary for different reasons.
However being able to be yourself completely with your partner has no price. This person loves you, so when we clam up and not allow us to be ourselves in front of them, we’re harming us more than them!
As silly as it might sound, I discovered how lucky I was that I had always been myself with Iliyan, when playing with some Playmobil one late evening back over Christmas.
We were in my room and I had mentioned that I used to play a lot with Playmobil, and somehow we ended up getting down my old boxes filled with the farms, animals and little people.
While building and playing I couldn’t help but feel all giddy and happy, these were a big part of my childhood, and I was actually playing with my boyfriend! It was then when I realized, that being myself from the beginning had opened even these kind of experiences, something I thought I could never again share with an adult (not even closer one) since this was and is considered child’s play. Yet there we were, at my parent’s home, in my room, playing with my old toys.
I didn’t even have an internal dilemma to show these toys to Iliyan and play with him. This showed me that I had done something good for both of us. I had completely opened to him, and acted according to my true character. No facade, no nothing. I felt free.
So why do I say that being yourself is so important? Well, hiding certain natural reactions, ways of being or even experiences and objects from your past can work in the beginning, since you have the strength to do so. But as time passes it would create problems between you and your beloved; on the first hand you get tired of it, and on the other hand, you are still afraid or reluctant to be yourself, so you also create tensions within yourself which you cannot explain properly to your partner, which leads to many hidden frustrations that can also result into a lot of fights over petty things.
Whenever you’re shy or scared to share something that is part of you, think well, for you’re helping both yourself and your significant other by opening up (of course, go at your own pace), and in the long run, it will enable experiences like the one that I had over the winter.
Relationships strengthen when there is good communication but also when both of you are able to be yourselves with each other.