How to tell your family about your long distance significant other?

Right now I am spending my summer with Iliyan and my family. I thought it would be interesting to give some tips and talk about my personal experience to tell my family that I had someone I loved, but that I did not know him in person… yet.

Usually when it comes to close friends, it is easier, they will be by your side no matter what and will not judge you that harshly, but when it comes to family it depends quite a lot in their way of being and how they perceive such modern situations.

1. Be sure about your feelings.

I advise this because if you are going to tell your parents, there is no point in telling them so officially about it if it is a summer crush so to say. If you’re sure, go ahead whenever you want or feel ready to.

2. Start simple and answer their questions.

Explain the situation in a simple way, and then let your parents ask whatever doubts they have about them. “Where does he/she live?”, “Where did you meet him/her?”.

It was the best thing I did when presenting the situation to my father, for he comes from a generation that would not understand that easily this kind of relationship, I told him I loved someone, but that I had not met him in person, and then left him to ask away. He was calm, probably a bit worried, but calm. Two months later when I went to meet Iliyan, my father’s only request was to talk with him a bit over coffee, which brings me to the next tip.

IMG_9184
Iliyan and I in Sozopol on the trip we first met in person, August, 2015.

3. Give them the option to talk to your beloved.

Parents worry a lot about their kids, it is natural and not at all bad, but in these situations in which you fall in love with a person that is kilometers away from you, we should try our best to ease their fears, so the best thing is to leave a window open for them to be able to interact with that person that you love, either through a call or when you go to meet them for the first time.

4. Talk about him or her.

Talking about your boyfriend or girlfriend is something that comes easy when you’re in love, so doing it in front of your parents will allow them to know their child’s partner better and also ask you things about them, which honestly in my case always made me happy because I saw they started to love him as well.

5. Don’t pressure them if they have difficulties understanding you.

Sometimes parents need time to get used to this new situation, if they are really closed to your partner leave them be, usually parents will come around sooner or later, just have patience. If they do not, then listen to your heart, even if they are your parents you are not their puppet or your partner’s puppet for that matter. Just make sure you’re comfortable with your choice.

Lastly…

There is no wrong or right way of telling your family about your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend, but I would say that these little tips that I mentioned did make my experience an easy one, I’ve read people that said they were hiding it from their family, others were not sure if to tell and if they told, how to tell them. So I hope this might give the courage to the shyer ones to go ahead and tell their families about the person that makes them happy.

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